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Because the point is not function. The point is the form and fit.It's like a hundred other events. Premieres, thousand-a-plate political dinners, grand-re-openings of whatever building has been newly renovated this year. It's like them all, and I'm not even sure what this one is celebrating, only that I have to attend, have to look good on his arm, because that's what my job is.So I'm smiling, taking the hand of that acquaintance, telling him how long it's been, cocking my eyebrow in the way that implies I find him attractive, that I could have been his, if he'd only been as great as my husband is. It's reflexive, born of four years' practice. And it's tedious. But I do it again to the next guy, too. And the next. Because part of the alpha-male dominance game is letting them know what they're missing, and I know what's expected of me.Beatrice Shellesworth, matronly and insipid, takes my hand and marvels at how good I look, and how much she missed me at the charity gala last month. I. Mayor. Neighbours, I'd like to thank Ms. Lefebvre and my good friend Paco over there for their kind words. I'd like to make one small correction to Wendy's wonderful speech. It's not 'naked', it's 'nude'. Naked means 'defenceless'. 'Nude' merely means 'not wearing clothing'. The distinction is important."We do not refer to paintings and sculptures of 'nakeds', we call them, 'nudes'. We send students as young as eight by the bus load to museums and public art galleries where they encounter such artwork, and call it 'learning about civilization'. We place such artwork in our living rooms and in public squares, and see nothing wrong with it. We decorate our churches with frescoes featuring nude cherubs, and with representations of Adam and Eve cheerfully, innocently nude in the Garden of Eden. But in today's society, if I were to paint a modern version of Paul Peel's After the Bath, or worse yet take a photograph of the same subjects posed the exact same way, I'd be standing accused in.
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